Tag: about me

A Birthday Appreciation Post

manda_faromeiro

For those who know me well, and even those who have only known me for 5 minutes, it’s not a secret how much I love my birthday! It is certain that I always have, and always will love my birthday. While most people say that once you run out of 20s, you’ll stop counting your birthdays, lying about your age, and even refrain from celebrating or making a big deal out of your big day, but I can say in my heart of hearts that this isn’t going to happen to me because I think birthdays are so important and every single one is worth celebrating. Let me rant a bit about why I not only love my own birthday, but birthdays in general. I just turned 31 on June 10th, and I had a really wonderful day; sorry for the delay on writing this blog! Hopefully you’ll think about your own birthday a little bit differently by the end of this blog post…

Remember being a kid and getting so excited about planning your birthday party? Whether it be at the local bowling alley, McDonalds (because that was a thing- even though I never had my birthday there), Chuck-E-Cheese, the movie theatre, a home party with your friends, cousins and family members, or even a sleepover with your pals or hanging out a local hotspot- whatever the place or case, birthdays were something to be celebrated when we were kids, so why does that mentality stop? Maybe we don’t need balloons and loot bags anymore, or even silly games (if that isn’t your thing), but why stop going out or staying in and doing something fun with your friends/family just because you’re an adult? I know that sometimes birthdays, like other times of year (like Christmas or Thanksgiving) can bring up rough times or memories for some people, but I think the purpose of birthdays is often forgotten. Your birthday is a celebration of you – you coming into this world and everyone in your life who is important to you should want to remind you of how loved and special and important you are. As a kid, celebrating your birthday was about hanging out with your friends and family and doing fun things. Yeah, it was also about gifts, because as kids that is how we think, but now that we’re older the act of gift giving (and receiving) means that someone wanted to get you something special, something that you’ll really like, or something that makes them think of you. Celebrating your birthday is a way for those in your life to make you feel loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for – and honestly, we don’t get enough of that in our life.

Remember how special you felt as a kid when all those people came to celebrate you? I don’t think that feeling should stop. Life is too short not to celebrate another year on this earth. Life is too short not to show those you care about that they are worth celebrating. I know that sometimes we can all have a bad day that turns into a bad month, that stretches out to a bad year. However, I think if we took the time to think about how a birthday is another 365 chances for changes, better days ahead, and/or new adventures, opportunities or things, we would all feel a little bit better (and make others feel better too). Your birthday is a chance to be a little selfish, and I think this is a good thing. The older we get, the more we become more giving towards others rather than ourselves; we become harder on ourselves for not making deadlines, falling a bit behind, not getting caught up or comparing ourselves to others in our own age group or whom we grew up with. We tend to do less for ourselves and more for others; this is especially the case if/when we have children or take on stressful jobs or careers. Ultimately, we can become very hard on ourselves, and when your birthday comes around, it should be a time to reflect on what you did accomplish, what changes you made, what lessons you learned, but also who was there alongside with you, what new friendships formed, or what old ones gained strength. Yes, you should totally be selfish on your birthday- treat yourself to a day at the spa, go out for that dinner, have not one but two scoops of ice cream – do something that day you don’t get to do everyday – and I REALLY encourage you to take your birthday off of work because who really wants to work on their birthday? You deserve a day off, even if you’re going to just stay in pyjamas all day – you do you!

I love my birthday because it is a reminder of my personal story and all the things I have had the privilege of experiencing in my 31 years of living. There are no guarantees in life, and without running the risk of sounding morbid or sad, birthdays are a gift that you don’t exactly know if you’ll be getting again next year. Life can get in the way. Many cultures see birthdays as a rite of passage, and depending on your background you may celebrate your day differently or some ages in particular are more important than others. My birthday is a celebration of my life; another year of changes, memories, ups and downs, adventures, and while it might not all be great, it is all part of the story that makes up my life. Being a generally positive person, it is easier for me to see the good that can come out of bad situations or circumstances, and I recognize that not everyone is like this; another reason why a birthday is a great reminder to someone of just how wonderful, valued, important and great they are – and that they can get through anything with love and support. My husband, family and friends make me feel very loved and appreciated, especially on my birthday and the more chances I get to celebrate with them is another chance to be thankful and appreciative of all the things I have shared with them.

As someone who loves their birthday, I make it a goal of mine to ensure that others in my life feel loved, valued, appreciated and special on their own birthday as much as I feel on my own. I understand that not everyone likes attention on themselves, so not everyone wants a big party or get together to celebrate another trip around the sun. I encourage you who read this to think about your own thoughts and feelings about your birthday. Reflect on some birthdays you remember that were fun, exciting, and really joyous moments. I am sure you can think of many. I also encourage you to think of some birthdays that maybe weren’t so great, and reflect on what happened to make it so; think about how far you’ve come from that point, what has changed and what new things have you been able to experience or see or do because of another passing year? A personal goal of mine is to encourage those who are close to me to love and want to celebrate their birthdays even more as the years go on. I think we all need a reminder of how important we are to those around us and that your birthday marks the day you were brought into the world to change the lives of those you’ve crossed paths with; whether you see it that way or not -it’s true!

I have had some incredible birthdays in my 31 years and I have my family, husband and friends to thank for many of them. Whether it be Spice Girls themed, running around a laser or archery tag arena as an adult, carnivals, road trips or vacations, and heck yeah – even getting engaged on my birthday – I have had many incredible birthdays and hope to have many incredible more!

Let’s Talk About Wearing Makeup…

manda_faromeiro

I felt compelled to write a blog about makeup because as someone who has been wearing it since I was about 13, it tends to be a topic that stirs up interesting conversation. My relationship with makeup is a long, somewhat interesting one. Many people who know me know that I am almost always wearing makeup; whether it’s simply foundation or a full face of makeup including winged eyeliner and lipstick, makeup is very much apart of my daily routine – and that isn’t a bad thing. Now, I am far from a beauty influencer, makeup artist or guru, and you won’t find me on a YouTube channel anytime soon talking about my favourite brands or doing a tutorial, but the truth is, I wear makeup because I want to – and I want to for a number of reasons. I am happy to talk about wearing makeup to anyone who asks…

When I first started wearing makeup, I was lucky that my mom was a beautician and counter-manager for Estee Lauder cosmetics. This meant that my mom could provide me with really great quality makeup, so I wouldn’t have to buy the drugstore brands and not know what exactly it was I was putting on my face. Hear me out, there is NOTHING wrong with drugstore brands, especially nowadays when you can get a great deal of awesome brands there, and brands like Maybelline, Covergirl etc have really upped their game. When I say drugstore brands, I am talking about those brands similar to what you’d now find at Claires or Ardenes stores that are targeted at young teens and feel very waxy, plasticy and well, just not what “real” makeup should feel like. Anyway, my mom was very “cool” and not opposed to me wearing makeup at my age, and because of her knowledge and expertise in the field, she taught me the basics about applying makeup. Back then, of course, wearing makeup to school meant some eyeshadow, mascara, and a little bit of foundation; nothing too intense. Teens these days are far more advanced that I ever was at that age when it came to applying makeup (I just learned how to contour about a year ago). Nevertheless, wearing makeup to me was normal, and quickly became part of my everyday routine as a teenager; and I had fun with it.

For most of my life, and even well into adulthood, I suffered (and still do suffer) from acne prone skin. Throughout most of my teen years, my acne was so unpredictable and I’ve had it literally everywhere on my face and for months and months at a time. I would be lying if I said that sometimes my choice to wear makeup wasn’t influenced by trying to cover up my pimples or imperfections or redness of my skin, because it very much was. I had been met with some criticism in my lifetime from people who think that wearing makeup made my skin condition worse, and that if I didn’t wear “so much makeup” my skin wouldn’t be the way that it was. Truthfully, these people were indirectly shaming me for choosing to wear makeup. If you think back, it may have happened to you too, and you may have even done it to someone you know without even realizing it. I was made to feel that my skin was the way it was because of the products I was putting on my face. These comments also made the assumption that makeup alone causes oily skin and breakouts, which anyone who has seen a dermatologist can tell you that it is way more complicated than that. Regardless, my acne prone skin wasn’t the only reason I was wearing makeup. I wasn’t trying to hide the fact I had acne, I just was trying to make it more of background detail on my canvas rather than the focal point…and is that really anyone’s business anyway?

Having an expert like my mom, as well as seeing doctors and dermatologists throughout the years helped me to see how to best apply makeup when dealing with acne and also the kinds of products and ingredients to look for when choosing makeup brands. Experiencing all the bouts of acne I did throughout my teens and twenties, caused some frustration with the whole makeup process. At times, my skin was very dry, and wearing the right makeup was challenging. I didn’t want to just wear makeup because of people making those comments to me, I still enjoyed wearing it, but wearing it correctly was sometimes a challenge and figuring out how to change up your makeup routine to suit your changing skin wasn’t so easy. For most people, the objective of wearing makeup isn’t to look like you’re wearing a lot of makeup, so trying to do this while dealing with dry skin, redness, scaring, or even pimples or breakouts wasn’t easy. I liked wearing makeup because I liked trying out different colours, and emphasizing different elements of my face with pops of colour or making them stand out. Again, I wanted to wear makeup, and it wasn’t just to cover up my “natural” “imperfect” face. Finding that balance made makeup complicated, especially when you are reminded by society and people who make up that society that nobody wants to be that girl who CLEARLY wears too much makeup. Right? She must have something to hide if she is always wearing makeup. She must not be that pretty since she is always wearing makeup. Wrong. So very wrong! Nobody in my family or in my circle of friends ever made me feel like I HAD to wear makeup, and if they did, that would be pretty shitty.

Part of the reason I enjoy talking to people about makeup is because I want people to feel that wearing makeup isn’t just about covering up or trying to look prettier than you are. It’s okay to want to wear makeup, whether you wear it everyday or only for special occasions, or just whenever you feel like it. It’s okay to want to experiment with it and try out new colours, new looks, and new products, without feeling like people will comment about how much makeup you are wearing or that you’re “actually” wearing makeup for once. How many times have you heard someone say to you (or someone you know) “Yeah, you’re lucky you don’t have to wear makeup all the time.” What does this even mean? Is wearing makeup a chore? Is it a burden? Why should someone even feel this way? I’ve spoken to a few of my friends about this, who I never realized felt the shame of wearing “too much makeup” because when they tried a new look, all people could talk about was how they were wearing “so much makeup” or how they had to be going somewhere special to get all “dolled up.” Many people wear makeup to cover up imperfections, but they shouldn’t be made to feel like they HAVE to wear makeup to cover up imperfections, and if they want to do this, that’s OKAY and they shouldn’t be shamed for it- there isn’t enough conversation about this. You’re not any less of “natural” or “real” woman just because you choose/choose not to wear makeup. Whatever your style, makeup is a personal choice and a perfect example of self-expression. Much like fashion, makeup – how much of it you wear or how often you wear it – is totally up to you, and everyone can make that choice in the same way they do picking out a jacket or new pair of sunglasses.

I wasn’t trying to sound preachy in this blog, so I hope I didn’t come across that way. Like many of these blogs, these are a collection of thoughts that have been floating around my mind for awhile; it comes and goes. Basically, I don’t want it to be assumed that because someone likes wearing makeup or chooses to do so, doesn’t mean they’re striving to be a makeup influencer, YouTube makeup star, or instagram famous because they post about it. We like what we like, and I like wearing makeup, and am totally okay with shouting that out loud, or you know, posting about it on social media. I might not be the best contourer in Canada, but I sure do have fun trying to learn, and isn’t that all that matters? I think so! So next time you’re with your gal-pals and anything makeup related comes up, just be a little mindful of the comments you’re making, you might not realize how discouraging it can be. Oh and let’s not make assumptions, you know what they say when you assume…