Wait. Keep your jingle bells on. This is not an anti-Christmas post. I’m not a Grinch or a Scrooge. Grab a cup of hot chocolate and your favourite Christmas sweater and read my tale of Christmases past.
In 2015 I threw the biggest, most expensive party that I will ever throw in my whole life. It was indeed what dreams are made of, amazing food, awesome music, and an epic guest list. Yes, it was my wedding! My husband and I were together for 10 years by the time we got married in 2015, and planning our wedding wasn’t stressful, it was actually very enjoyable and fun. The best part was, we thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of the day. We did get to indulge in all the 5 courses of our dinner, in addition to taking advantage of the antipasti station, so it wasn’t as though all of our hard work planning was just for the guests- oh my no- it was phenomenal! So what does this have to do with Christmas?
My husband and I were very blessed to have such an incredible wedding party. After our wedding, instead of taking a mini-moon for just the two of us, we decided that we would plan a little getaway for our whole wedding party. Our wedding party consisted of 6 people who (to this day) we still love and adore very much. Alas, after the wedding we loaded up the cars and embarked on an epic road trip to Niagara Falls, more specifically, Great Wolf Lodge. Who doesn’t want to follow up a milestone celebration like marriage with two days of relaxation and waterpark fun? More importantly, it was our way of saying thank you to the people who helped to make our wedding as wonderful and unforgettable as it was. So what does this have to do with Christmas?
Upon returning home, we gave each other one last big group hug before everyone went their separate ways back home. Such epic memories and laughs, and barrels of fun – well tubes, water tubes of fun – had been had, what next? Before parting ways we made a pact. 2015 was such a busy year, and our wedding party was so generous and thoughtful both with their time and money in this whole wedding process that we all agreed that we would not buy each other any Christmas gifts that year. Instead, we would get together over the holidays and just hang out, catch up, play board games and do what we do best. Everyone was pleased and relieved.
Relieved is such an interesting word choice. I don’t want to make it sound as though buying gifts for others is a hassle; its not. Anyone who knows me knows I thoroughly enjoy giving gifts to people. I give gifts because I want to. I see something that makes me think of that person or something I know they have been wanting for a long time or something I know they will love. So why was not buying Christmas gifts that year such a relief?
Truth is, Christmas is obligatory gift giving. Buying Christmas gifts in your adult years is very impersonal. The chaos that ensues around the holiday season and the expectations to get those perfect gifts for everyone actually makes my eyes roll so hard, they almost fall out of my head. If I want to get you that perfect gift, I will. I’ll get it for you when I see it or you next. Maybe I’ll wait for your birthday (stay tuned later for a blog or two about my love for birthdays) or maybe it will be when we hang out next time. Either way, I’m not going to rush out and drive myself crazy just to get you a Christmas gift. With all those gifts you’ll unwrap anyway will you even really remember or appreciate what I got you?
Remember when I said this wasn’t an anti-Christmas post? It’s still not an anti-Christmas post. I enjoy Christmas carols, Christmas movies, Christmas decorations and lights, and I enjoy the spirit of Christmas that is alive in the hearts of children and adults alike, I just don’t like the obligation to buy gifts.
If we can go back to 2015 for a moment, that Christmas my husband and I hosted our first Friendship Christmas, and it was magical. Instead of exchanging gifts, we exchanged stories, memories and shared pictures and tales from the wedding and other events throughout the year. So heartwarming and right out of a Hallmark Christmas movie! If you’re still not convinced, ask my friends, they’ll tell you how wonderful it was! Anyway, this year makes our 4th annual Friendship Christmas, and the guest list grows a little more each year, but the list of people to buy Christmas gifts for, does not. The Christmas list has two people on it, and both are under the age of 10. There is something very calming and satisfying about that…
So no Christmas gifts for your friends is one way to stay on a budget for the holidays but what about your family? I never felt like a black sheep in my family until I brought up the idea of no Christmas gifts. I was met with mixed responses. Mixed responses turned to a unanimous reply, “But it’s Christmas and it’s a tradition.” Oh well, if it’s tradition then we must continue to comply. No. Nope. No, thank you. I love my family very much, and that love is not measured by what is under the tree.
The first Christmas without giving gifts was a tad awkward. Almost as though our bluff was being called. When Christmas Day arrived, my husband and I greeted everyone with hugs, kisses, and empty hands. Yep. No gifts. Everyone still got their Christmas cards with heartfelt messages inside, but no gifts. We gathered as a family and just hung out sharing stories and having a meaningful conversation. It was debt free and stress-free Christmas. That is true holiday magic.
Opting out of buying Christmas gifts was one of the best decisions I ever made because it eliminated a lot of unnecessary stress and financial burden. As someone who worked retail for more than 10 years, I can honestly say that the holiday hustle brings out the worst in people. Everyone is busy, tired, stressed, overwhelmed, worried, annoyed, angry, and impatient, and very impatient. Did I mention impatient? It all seems very unnecessary. How weird is it to hear the cliche messages about the true meaning of Christmas followed by messages about getting those jaw-dropping gifts to put under the tree?
As I said above, the only people who continue to get Christmas gifts from me are my nephews, who both turned 7 this year. You don’t have to agree with this post, you don’t even have to like it.
I respect people’s choice to buy gifts at Christmas and keep their traditions. I understand that for many people, receiving a gift at Christmas is actually very special because maybe they don’t get gifts any other time of year. Christmas can actually be a very sad time for people, so the gesture of gift-giving can really brighten one’s spirits. Just don’t drive yourself crazy trying to check off those items on that list.
Ultimately, whenever or however you give gifts, I hope it truly is meaningful for you. I hope it gives you joy. I just hope it doesn’t overwhelm you or cause any unnecessary worry or stress, or debt because that is a real thing. Happy Holidays!
Five Feet High Thoughts 