Tag: growth

Let’s Talk About Wearing Makeup…

manda_faromeiro

I felt compelled to write a blog about makeup because as someone who has been wearing it since I was about 13, it tends to be a topic that stirs up interesting conversation. My relationship with makeup is a long, somewhat interesting one. Many people who know me know that I am almost always wearing makeup; whether it’s simply foundation or a full face of makeup including winged eyeliner and lipstick, makeup is very much apart of my daily routine – and that isn’t a bad thing. Now, I am far from a beauty influencer, makeup artist or guru, and you won’t find me on a YouTube channel anytime soon talking about my favourite brands or doing a tutorial, but the truth is, I wear makeup because I want to – and I want to for a number of reasons. I am happy to talk about wearing makeup to anyone who asks…

When I first started wearing makeup, I was lucky that my mom was a beautician and counter-manager for Estee Lauder cosmetics. This meant that my mom could provide me with really great quality makeup, so I wouldn’t have to buy the drugstore brands and not know what exactly it was I was putting on my face. Hear me out, there is NOTHING wrong with drugstore brands, especially nowadays when you can get a great deal of awesome brands there, and brands like Maybelline, Covergirl etc have really upped their game. When I say drugstore brands, I am talking about those brands similar to what you’d now find at Claires or Ardenes stores that are targeted at young teens and feel very waxy, plasticy and well, just not what “real” makeup should feel like. Anyway, my mom was very “cool” and not opposed to me wearing makeup at my age, and because of her knowledge and expertise in the field, she taught me the basics about applying makeup. Back then, of course, wearing makeup to school meant some eyeshadow, mascara, and a little bit of foundation; nothing too intense. Teens these days are far more advanced that I ever was at that age when it came to applying makeup (I just learned how to contour about a year ago). Nevertheless, wearing makeup to me was normal, and quickly became part of my everyday routine as a teenager; and I had fun with it.

For most of my life, and even well into adulthood, I suffered (and still do suffer) from acne prone skin. Throughout most of my teen years, my acne was so unpredictable and I’ve had it literally everywhere on my face and for months and months at a time. I would be lying if I said that sometimes my choice to wear makeup wasn’t influenced by trying to cover up my pimples or imperfections or redness of my skin, because it very much was. I had been met with some criticism in my lifetime from people who think that wearing makeup made my skin condition worse, and that if I didn’t wear “so much makeup” my skin wouldn’t be the way that it was. Truthfully, these people were indirectly shaming me for choosing to wear makeup. If you think back, it may have happened to you too, and you may have even done it to someone you know without even realizing it. I was made to feel that my skin was the way it was because of the products I was putting on my face. These comments also made the assumption that makeup alone causes oily skin and breakouts, which anyone who has seen a dermatologist can tell you that it is way more complicated than that. Regardless, my acne prone skin wasn’t the only reason I was wearing makeup. I wasn’t trying to hide the fact I had acne, I just was trying to make it more of background detail on my canvas rather than the focal point…and is that really anyone’s business anyway?

Having an expert like my mom, as well as seeing doctors and dermatologists throughout the years helped me to see how to best apply makeup when dealing with acne and also the kinds of products and ingredients to look for when choosing makeup brands. Experiencing all the bouts of acne I did throughout my teens and twenties, caused some frustration with the whole makeup process. At times, my skin was very dry, and wearing the right makeup was challenging. I didn’t want to just wear makeup because of people making those comments to me, I still enjoyed wearing it, but wearing it correctly was sometimes a challenge and figuring out how to change up your makeup routine to suit your changing skin wasn’t so easy. For most people, the objective of wearing makeup isn’t to look like you’re wearing a lot of makeup, so trying to do this while dealing with dry skin, redness, scaring, or even pimples or breakouts wasn’t easy. I liked wearing makeup because I liked trying out different colours, and emphasizing different elements of my face with pops of colour or making them stand out. Again, I wanted to wear makeup, and it wasn’t just to cover up my “natural” “imperfect” face. Finding that balance made makeup complicated, especially when you are reminded by society and people who make up that society that nobody wants to be that girl who CLEARLY wears too much makeup. Right? She must have something to hide if she is always wearing makeup. She must not be that pretty since she is always wearing makeup. Wrong. So very wrong! Nobody in my family or in my circle of friends ever made me feel like I HAD to wear makeup, and if they did, that would be pretty shitty.

Part of the reason I enjoy talking to people about makeup is because I want people to feel that wearing makeup isn’t just about covering up or trying to look prettier than you are. It’s okay to want to wear makeup, whether you wear it everyday or only for special occasions, or just whenever you feel like it. It’s okay to want to experiment with it and try out new colours, new looks, and new products, without feeling like people will comment about how much makeup you are wearing or that you’re “actually” wearing makeup for once. How many times have you heard someone say to you (or someone you know) “Yeah, you’re lucky you don’t have to wear makeup all the time.” What does this even mean? Is wearing makeup a chore? Is it a burden? Why should someone even feel this way? I’ve spoken to a few of my friends about this, who I never realized felt the shame of wearing “too much makeup” because when they tried a new look, all people could talk about was how they were wearing “so much makeup” or how they had to be going somewhere special to get all “dolled up.” Many people wear makeup to cover up imperfections, but they shouldn’t be made to feel like they HAVE to wear makeup to cover up imperfections, and if they want to do this, that’s OKAY and they shouldn’t be shamed for it- there isn’t enough conversation about this. You’re not any less of “natural” or “real” woman just because you choose/choose not to wear makeup. Whatever your style, makeup is a personal choice and a perfect example of self-expression. Much like fashion, makeup – how much of it you wear or how often you wear it – is totally up to you, and everyone can make that choice in the same way they do picking out a jacket or new pair of sunglasses.

I wasn’t trying to sound preachy in this blog, so I hope I didn’t come across that way. Like many of these blogs, these are a collection of thoughts that have been floating around my mind for awhile; it comes and goes. Basically, I don’t want it to be assumed that because someone likes wearing makeup or chooses to do so, doesn’t mean they’re striving to be a makeup influencer, YouTube makeup star, or instagram famous because they post about it. We like what we like, and I like wearing makeup, and am totally okay with shouting that out loud, or you know, posting about it on social media. I might not be the best contourer in Canada, but I sure do have fun trying to learn, and isn’t that all that matters? I think so! So next time you’re with your gal-pals and anything makeup related comes up, just be a little mindful of the comments you’re making, you might not realize how discouraging it can be. Oh and let’s not make assumptions, you know what they say when you assume…

My Journey of Homeownership

manda_faromeiro

March 6th is a special day for my husband and I; a day that will forever be an important reminder of becoming responsible adults. On this day in 2014, my husband and I received the keys to our very first home! No more living in school residences, no more renting apartments, no more living with our parents! It’s true, on March 6th 2014 we officially became homeowners. What a magical, scary, exciting, and fascinating leap into such a common yet new journey. Let’s climb aboard the memory train and revisit the fascinating process that is buying a home…

In 2013 when my Dad suddenly passed away, there were many emotions that I was trying to process on a daily basis. Not even 6 months prior, I had just moved back home from Kingston after completing my Masters degree and was looking to start my career in the field of education. The plan was to stay at home for a bit, but my boyfriend (now husband) was going to move in with us, as we were planning to do some renovations which included finishing the basement and making a livable space down there. Picking out flooring, paint colours and planning out how to makeover some of the spaces in the house was an intriguing and exciting process. In the short time between August 2012 and February 2013, we had made considerable progress; brand new laminate flooring throughout the entire house (wow, ripping up carpet is NOT fun), updated fresh paint colours in every room, and some new furniture for the living room, dining room and kitchen. The short time we had to experience these homeownership-like tasks was preparing us for real homeownership, we just didn’t know it at the time.

Looking back at those 6 months now, it is evident to me how vital that time was in getting my husband and I ready for owning our own home. Since it was our idea to do the renovations, we had paid for all of them ourselves; scary yet necessary. We were fully prepared to stay in that house for a few years and live alongside my Dad, but still contribute to the home in the form of paying some bills, part of the mortgage etc. It really was going to be a trial period of homeownership. However, as the saying goes, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…

My Dad’s passing in February of 2013 was complicated, and it’s still hard to find the right words to describe just what I was feeling. There are a lot of details that need to be worked out when someone passes away, and while most of that responsibility was left to my eldest brother, there was still a lot of things to figure out and decisions to be made. One of the most pressing decisions was of course, what we were going to do with the house. I won’t go into the legal matters, but basically there was a choice to be made about staying in the house or moving out. For many reasons, not just financial ones, we had decided that the best thing to do was to sell my Dad’s house and proceed with the next steps… getting pre-approved for a mortgage!

We’ve all had those moments when we’ve thought about our spending habits and have had that self-talk about needing to buckle down and put more money away for your future. All these conversations come back in one giant wave when you’re about to meet with the bank to discuss your mortgage options. Yeah, I never imagined at 25 that I would need to be sitting down to discuss a mortgage, especially since I just graduated post-secondary again and yeah, I had a lot of debt. The funny thing about going to the bank to talk about your finances is that you take yourself on a rollercoaster of emotions; at least I did. I always thought I had a good handle on my savings, spending, and was on the right track with my responsibilities — and I was and STILL am — but WOW do you ever doubt yourself when you have to talk about signing you name to an agreement with the bank for hundreds of thousands of dollars. When you finally do sit down and get the green light to spend “x” amount of dollars on your new home, the nerves simmer down a bit and the fun part can truly begin.

It didn’t take us long to determine what we really wanted in our first home, and we knew that a fixer-upper or older home wasn’t it, at least not right now. Within about a week, we had narrowed our choice down to two different new-build subdivisions: one in Innisfil and one in Alliston. Even as it was happening, the decision seemed very simple and it just felt right. On March 23rd, 2013 we officially gave our deposit and signed our papers, oh, and we also got to put that symbolic dot on the builder map; that means that lot belongs to you! Wahoo!!

For the next several months, there were many decisions to be made and while they were overwhelming at times, they were all quite exhilarating. Choosing everything from flooring to cupboards, to fixtures, to where to put those cable outlets and how high you want your breakfast bar, nothing can really prepare you for making the right decisions other than experience (coupled with some valuable and truthful advice from people who have done this before). It is fascinating to think that when all is said and done, my husband and I had a lot of choice in shaping how our house was going to turn out. Piecing together the look of your home, your very first home, was such an unforgettable experience. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was nervous how it would all turn out, would that countertop really look good with those cupboards? This was a huge deal, and we were pouring a lot of money into this, we didn’t want to mess it up. Pride of ownership is a very real thing, and I always have high expectations for myself, so this process was no different. There were definitely times where we questioned if we made the right choices, but at the same time, when you go to a showroom and stare at tile for 3 hours they begin to all look alike; at some point you go home and a few days pass and you forget what the tile even looked like altogether. Now is not the time to panic… bahahah!

Months go by and you continue to give deposit and after deposit, and the odd time you try to drive to the subdivision to check on the progress of your home (and perhaps sneak inside-even though you’re absolutely not supposed to do this). One time (very close to my Dad’s birthday in December), we drove to go see the progress of our house. At this point, our neighbours house on the corner lot was non existent, so we pulled up and immediately our jaws dropped to the floor. All that brick and all those windows, even those doors, those were OUR bricks, OUR windows and OUR doors! I remember looking at my husband in the driver’s seat and a tear or two started to fall from my eyes. I really couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and that in a few months, we were going to be homeowners! All those deposits and all that money was REALLY being put towards something, and so far that something was INCREDIBLE.

The months continued to pass and the closer we got to March 6th, the more heightened the hype became. We were able to do a complete walkthrough of our home to ensure that all the appropriate items we had requested (and paid extra for in some cases) were included. We also had to do a thorough check to make sure that nothing was forgotten (like a waterline for the refrigerator, for example). Before we knew it, it was days before we were set to get the keys. Anyone who has ever bought a home from a builder before can tell you that sometimes your home won’t close on time. Sometimes there are delays with materials or the work in finalizing everything for your home. Luckily, when March 6th arrived and we received a call from our lawyer, the keys were ready to be retrieved and we could officially step through the doors of our very first home!

When I reflect on all the steps it took getting to that day, I cannot help but feel immense appreciation and humility. My husband and I always understood that not everyone has the privilege of being able to buy a home, yet alone a brand new build; especially in their mid-20s and in today’s society. We are very lucky and blessed. With that being said, there is also a part of us that knows we worked very hard to get to where we are today, and due to some unfortunate circumstances, had to make some big decisions in such little time; all of these factor into how our life takes its shape. Since moving into our home in 2014 we have had the opportunity to celebrate many of life’s milestones and special moments here: our engagement, getting ready the morning of our wedding, birthdays, anniversaries, halloween parties, gatherings with friends and family, introducing new furry family members and so much more!

As we sat at the dinner table this evening, my husband and I discussed some of our first memories of walking into our home for the very first time. It is remarkable how quickly 5 years can go by, yet so much has happened. Not a day goes by where we don’t take a moment and think about how much we value being homeowners, no matter how stressful or uncertain it can be sometimes. We continue to take pride in our ownership and make our house a home built for us. Whether it’s what decor sits in each room, the paint colours, the backsplash for the kitchen, or completely finishing our basement into a pretty wicked hangout space, we’ve really enjoyed every part of the journey. Oh, and so much learning along the way…

Since 2017, I have been working alongside my brother and sister-in-law in Real Estate and have learned so much more about home ownership, housing, buying vs renting, and many other real estate topics. While there is still always things to learn, I am even more thankful for having the opportunity to work alongside them because it has allowed me to be more critical in my thinking and decisions about my own home and potential homes in the future. In addition, having people you love and trust who are also super knowledgeable makes everything much better. I can say with confidence that my understanding of owning a home (and all it’s steps/processes) is on the rise with each passing month and experience, and for this I am ever appreciative.

“A House is Made of Walls & Beams, A Home is Made of Love & Dreams”